The CORE Approach®

The CORE of Really Being Alive - Choice
Most of us would like to make some changes and improvements in our lives. But we all know that change can be extremely difficult, even if we take small steps toward our goal. Sometimes the difficulty lies in finding the right goal to begin with. This newsletter will deal with the C in Core. It stands for Choice. In our careers, just as in life, we always have choices. How we make them determines not only what we can do, but also what type of person we are. Many of us have "let" life happen to us, rather than making the life we want. Is this you? For a long time, it certainly was the way I lived my life.

In order to make changes, especially if the change we want to make is a career change, we need to determine our capabilities. What else can you do besides what you are doing today? Take the time to sit quietly, perhaps ask whatever higher power you believe in for help, and then make a list of all the things you are good at, and could consider in this change. Do not judge each one as you list, just write them down. You should be able to come up with about 20. If you don't have anywhere near that many things on your list, just put it away and look at it again in a day or so. And pay attention to what's going on around you. Frequently, we get messages by being aware of what's taking place around us. We see someone doing something and think, "I could do that." Add it to the list. Think outside the box on this one. In my seminars, people often work until they come up with three full pages of things they could do, no matter how silly some of them seem at the time.

Once you have a list, narrow it down into "What I truly love to do" and "Things I could consider doing." This will help narrow the field. Then take the items on the What I Truly Love To Do list and start thinking about and making notes about the changes that would have to take place in order to do that. Not just for you, but for those around you as well--your spouse, children, parents, and others close in your life. No change in yourself can take place without bringing them on-board, or they will be reeling from the shock. By the way, if there is nothing on your list that would be part of a What I Truly Love To Do list, then you haven't really completed your list - these should be the first things that come to mind as you begin your list.

The next step is to formulate the plan for making those changes. In some cases, it may be relatively simple. You may need to go back to school for training. You may need a license to practice what you've chosen. You may need to resign from an existing role in order to pursue this new dream. WAIT! Don't do any of those things just yet. Make a conscious choice to abide with your new list and your options. In the meantime, you can research what's around for you in terms of resources you'll need. Resources can include programs you can attend, people you can talk with, on-line research on how to do something (how to self-publish or find an agent if you are thinking of writing a book, for example).

The next elements of the plan have to be considered fully before any steps are taken. Oh, you may choose to talk with your spouse, partner or good friend, but don't move forward with any of the plans yet. Let the choices to be considered sink in. Meditate about your list; and listen to what messages you may receive from your inner self and from the outer world, and your own higher authority. Consider how this choice makes you feel physically. If the feelings you get when you think about it are excitement and joy, and your body is rested and peaceful, you are on the right track. If you are feeling tense, your shoulders or neck ache, or your stomach is in knots, you may have to go back to the first steps to consider whether this is really the right path for you to take. Or, more importantly, what fears are causing these physical symptoms when you think about this choice in your life.

If you are feeling anxious with your choice, sit quietly, meditate about the change being considered and the physical symptoms. Let your mind wander through the possibilities of "What If" land. After a few minutes, write down all the "what if's" you conjured up. Then, in a space next to them, write "So What?" and write down the worst case scenario for that "what if."

Take some time with this. It's not an overnight process. One of the most effective ways to bring about positive change is to find an accountability partner. Gee, another choice! This can be a spouse, relative or close friend. The person you select must be someone you trust and who trusts you completely, who will be honest with you, and not hurtful or vengeful or jealous, and will be caring and understanding. Make an arrangement to talk regularly, whether it's daily, every other day, or once a week. This is another conscious choice - the choice to stick to a schedule to work through making a change in your life that you have chosen. We all need to share our goals with someone who will gently help us in our journey, someone who will celebrate our achievements no matter how small, and will remind us of our goals when we fall short. It's so difficult to make real change totally on our own.

Be patient. This could be the biggest decision of your life. Take the time with it, and think, feel, and act it through. If this is new to you because you are used to acting on your choices immediately, think about and feel how making the choice to wait affects you - again, physically and mentally. Make notes in your journal about these thoughts and feelings.

The CORE program will take you through the process of navigating this life change consideration.

C hoice
O pportunity
R esponsibility
E xpectations